The scary thing about writing blogs

I know many many people write their blogs daily and most write about really personal things. Something that has been on my mind for the last few months, is a question…

How personal should you really get online?

Not knowing who exactly is reading your blog, not knowing why they are in fact reading it, signing up for your feed and even come back whenever something new is posted is quite a weird feeling.

There are times that I have completely deleted stuff, just because I felt it wasn’t appropriate to put online, or just because I felt it wasn’t something others were looking for.

Thing is, I want this blog to be different, different not for the reader, but different for me, myself. It want it to be different in the sense of not worrying about what others think, not worry about whether they will click some sponsored links, not worry about if anybody out there is going to buy some product I endorse and not worry about the moving number of people who sign up for my feed.

Too long have I been trying to please people, something which started in my youth, growing up with a handicapped sister, a very loving and always giving mother (my role model) and a father who was cold, self-centred and a big cheat). Too long have I been playing nice, supporting others and functioning as a shoulder to cry on.

So… I decided to think about myself first for once. Focus on what it is I really want in life; focus on my real feelings and for the first time in my life and not to hide them.  I might end up looking like a Jekyll and Hyde personality, but whatever I might end up looking like, it will be ME… that is a promise to myself.

Maybe, in the future, I will write my “About” page, but for now I will leave it as it is… to remind myself to be sincere about my feelings and make every effort possible to start owning my own life.

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