At 24, this is something that I really had no intention of ever doing... Unless someone was sick or dying, it wasn't something I ever wanted to do. I love my parents, however, our relationship is much better now that I don't live with them. However, I was bound to fail. Living on my own has been great. I absolutely love it. But the world isn't built to be lived in as a single person with a fairly low income. I love my job, however, I got myself into a financial situation that I just can't seem to get out of.
So, now I have to move back in with my parents, even though I have been living on my own for nearly 2 years now. Me, my bunny and my cat, And I know I am really lucky to have a fall back plan. I know so many people just don't have that option. However, there are so many feelings involved in simply just moving back. I mean, you leave your parents for a reason, right? The feeling of being a "failure" is unbelievably strong, and the past lingers not far from my thoughts.
Will this time be different? Will I struggle the same as I did before or did they grow? Did I grow? Is this worth it? Will my mental health deteriorate again? Will I still be loved or will they hate me? Will I be used as I was before? The scapegoat? The worst child?
As unreasonable as some of these questions are, they run through my mind, the more I mull things over in my head. Simply the thought of moving back in brings anxiety. However, it is now a reality. And I have to face it head on.
As I start to pack my things, I try to remind myself how lucky I am to have a place to go. And I remind myself that many people have done the same as I have including some of my family members. As I attempt to look at this as a glass half full situation, I have decided to take you all on my journey. Going forward, we will delve into my past, my present, likes, dislikes, future and more. I am the main character of my story, and this is me writing it.